Redirected thoughts

So, recently I have been a little bit distracted by boys. It's like all of a sudden I started noticing them more and checking them out. There was a boy in one of my classes that actually talked to me after class one day and one of my first thoughts was oh my gosh he might like me. Boys like never pay attention to me so when one does I automatically start to think that they might like me. Then I start to think that maybe I like them, which is silly because I just met them and don't even really know them. Another thing i've been noticing about myself is that I have been checking out cute guys that I see and that is something I never really used to do all that much. When I see them I think oh gosh he is good looking and I could see myself with him, he looks like a nice guy. I am losing my focus on God because of all of this and I need to redirect my thoughts. I talked to some friends on Thursday and one of them said that when I see a cute guy or a cute guy starts talking to me I should think, I would like to get to know God more through him rather than thinking he might like me or I might like him. These are not the thoughts that I should have right away cause it takes my thoughts off of God. I could be getting in the way of God's plan for that guy and also God's plans for me as well. I would never want to get in the way of God's plans. This is hard for me cause I am a girl but i'm going to do my best to keep my focus on God and get to know Him more through the guys I meet instead of thinking about whether they like me or I like them. If I do that then God will put the right guy into my life in His perfect timing. Keep God first in every situation and everything else will fall into place according to God's plan for your life. God wants our whole heart and by redirecting my thoughts I will be able to give Him my whole heart and in return he will put the right guy in my life.

My morning

So this morning I had to get up at 8 for my first lab at the child development center, which is quite early for me since I am in no way a morning person. I decided that I better get there a little bit early since it was my first time. I got there about 10 min. early and got all ready to go into the classroom and when I got in there the they said that the teacher was out sick which ment there was no lab for me. I was kind of upset because I had to get up early, catch the bus and walk in the freezing cold just to find out that I had no lab. And to top it all off I don't have anything to do until my class at 12:30 so i'm sitting in the library trying to find things to do until then. On the other hand though, I am a little bit happy because I was not really wanting to start my lab yet so this gives me an extra week off. I guess I got to take the good with the bad. It's times like this that I wish I lived closer to campus so I could go home for a little bit. Oh well, there is nothing I can do about that one. Hopfully the rest of my day will be good and I can't wait for worship practice tonight :)

Discernment

The past couple of weeks I have had this desire in my heart to have a boyfriend. This is not a desire that I have had in almost 3 years. I don't know if it's God saying that i'm ready for a relationship now or if it's just me being a girl. There has been a certain guy that I have never really had strong feelings for or even thought about dating and recently my thoughts have changed about him. I don't really think about him until i'm around him and then I catch myself staring at him, thinking about him and feeling quite happy when i'm around him. I talked to a friend about him and the way I have been feeling and I came to the realization that I might just be attracted to the God in him and the music side of him and not him as a person. Coming to this realization really made me feel better because I don't really want to have feelings for him. He was kind of dating one of my close friends not too long ago and that would just be too weird. Tonight my campus ministry (Chi Alpha) had a super bowl party and he was there. At first I didn't even think about him other than our usual "hi, what's up" thing. Then during the game we made eyes at each other a couple of times and I got this really strong feeling in my heart. That really didn't help me to stop thinking about him. It only made myself think about him more and even want to look at him more. If this really is a God thing them I can't really ignore it but i'm hoping and praying that it is just me being a girl and that it's only the God and music in him that i'm attracted to. The super bowl party was a whole lot of fun and I really enjoyed spending time with good friends. I'm hoping that these feelings will slowly fade away but for now i'm going to pray about it and see if it's really what God wants for me. This is hard for me because i've never put God first in all this relationship stuff. I've always known that I wanted a good Christian guy that goes to church and believes in God but that was the extent of God being in my relationship. I now know that there is more to it and I am learning as I go. I wish all of this relationship stuff could be easy but I guess that's just not the way things are ment to be so I will just have to trust in God and let him be in charge.